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Deciding when you're ready to have sex is a big step, whatever your sexuality and whoever your potential partner might be. It is instinctive to try to escape or avoid that which makes you anxious. My firm belief is that in trying to categorise sex, sexuality and — yes — even gender, the late 19th, 20th and early 21st centuries have taken the medical and social sciences down a massive blind alley. It is important to note that the goal of ERP is not the elimination of obsessive thoughts but to learn to tolerate and accept all thoughts with little or no distress. You can find out more about dealing with homophobic bullying on these websites:

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Samaritans or email jo samaritans. Back then, the other kids thought any person who was any bit different from them was gay, and attached a bad meaning to the word. If you're not sure how you feel about your sexuality, there's no hurry to make your mind up or tell people. Educational Action Challenging Homophobia.

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